Monday, October 25, 2010

Co-Ed Golf

You have no idea how many golfing euphemisms,  or remarks, battle cries, or epithets have to do with male genitalia, female anatomy, or any other generally sexual subject matter that presents an offense to women.  Unless, that is...you've played in a golf tournament with women.

I had not...before recently.

Twice now, in the span of a month, I have ventured upon the battlefield of the fairways, rough, beach, waves and greens, with the opposite sex.

Oh, my grand good fellows of the links... good, bad, or ugly - I must confide in you that I have mostly thought of myself as a decent man...but I lie to myself...a lot.

This past tournament was played with a buddy of mine, and two wives / moms / female...she human types, from my children's school.  We had a great time.  The two ladies, whom we played with, or that were in our foursome-  see what I mean...you can't describe it...I'm soooo not a decent man.

"Stick that [#@$%] on the green!"
"Ram that [@#$$!] into the hole!"
"Stop putting like a [woman, granma, your wife, my daughter]"  {I actually said this one during a round}
"You sure nutted that one!" {what does that even mean?}
"Nice poke!"

All of these phrases, in my mind, represented danger zones for our little group.  Although, we did discuss this topic amongst beers and decided that we should do this foursome thing again sometime.  [I should be locked away]

Hit it straight and long my friends...

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